2009 Secret Festival
“Secrecy is the element of all goodness; even virtue, even beauty is mysterious.” —Thomas Carlyle
Psst! Hey buddy. Yeah,
you. Can you keep a secret? I mean, can you
really keep a secret? Even from your wife, husband, mother, significant other, or innocent, doe-eyed children? Then maybe you’re ready for the next level of “insider information” at SIFF.
I see you looking at this page (yes, we have spies everywhere), so you’re probably intrigued about the idea of a “Secret Festival.” You like knowing something that very few other people know. You even feel a little smug about knowing this privileged information and relish the thought of keeping it from your friends and family. Good. You’re
our kind of people.
“This ain’t no party. This ain’t no disco. This ain’t no foolin’ around.” —David Byrne
So what will you expect to see at this Secret Festival? Ha! Nice try, buddy, but we’re not telling—and neither will you. Not only will you have to shell out $45 ($43 for SIFF Supporters), you’ll have to sign an irrevocable Oath of Silence. Every Sunday morning during SIFF, your Secret Festival pass will entitle you to private screenings at the Egyptian Theater. Maybe you’ll see an early release of a new film. Perhaps we’ll come up with some incredibly rare print that may never again see the light of the silver screen. Maybe we’ll give you a look at some work in progress by a cinematic genius. You never know what you’ll find—and we’d like to keep it that way.
“…Conceal that which is entrusted to you, though pressed both be wine and anger to reveal it.” —Horace
Let’s face it. This is a long festival, with plenty of public events that will be overflowing with high-octane gossip and even stronger cocktails. Your mission as a Secret Festival Society member—should you choose to accept it—will be to forego all such chatty activities and remain steadfast, unalterable, and unyielding in your commitment to the Oath of Silence. Be forewarned: We’ll be sending attractive, persuasive decoys after you to test your mettle. And we don’t just mean keep quiet until SIFF 2009 is over. The Secret Festival Society is forever, pal,
capice? As in lifetime. All the way. From your first cigarette to your last dyin’ day.
You may ask us why all this fuss over secrecy? After all, Barack Obama is in the White House, “change” has come to America, and anything seems possible. But to the President’s stirring message of “Yes, We Can,” the Secret Festival responds with an absolute “No, You Really Can’t.” Some things will never change.
But you didn’t hear it from me. This conversation never happened.
